Like I have stated in previous posts, we are moving to Ogden (maybe?) next Friday, so we have been focusing on packing up our stuff this week. We are supposed to be taking over an apartment contract for a guy this Saturday and we haven't heard from him. We are hoping that that is still the plan when we show up on Saturday to sign all the contracts and stuff! If not, I guess we will be looking for a new place, PRONTO! We have to be out of here next weekend, so here is hoping.
The move is really affecting our ability to get workouts in. But I was able to walk 2 miles on Monday while Mark ran and have been doing heavy labor lifting, taking down blinds and cleaning them, cleaning out closets and shelves, you know, moving stuff. It sure is a lot of work. All the physical stuff is causing some bad back spasms for me, so after a day of packing, there is no way I can go running. But, hopefully I can jump back into the swing of things soon. We are probably 20% packed, but it is hard to go too crazy right now because we still have to live too. It is mostly an exercise in decided what we can and can't live without right now.
I think little Miss really misses our runs. She loves going around the hospital path and watching the little kids play soccer or the ultimate Frisbee people. And I think it made us all a lot happier just being outside and doing something good for ourselves. You know what happens when you move? You eat a lot of crappy food. Then the crappy food makes you want MORE crappy food. It is a never ending cycle, isn't it?
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Happy Anniversary
Yesterday was Mark and I's 5th wedding anniversary. I already told you about my run. Yeah, thanks husband for making me cry like a baby on our anniversary. How about next year we go kick some puppies? Despite all of this though, we had a pretty great time yesterday eating far too many calories and doing one too many errands. I would like to thank our friends Ryan and Lola for watching the Missy while we went to dinner and dessert. That was pretty nice to have our third date since at least Addison has come into our lives. It is nice to know your still with the one that makes your heart skip a beat now and then!
I also heard that a few people who do not read this blog found out that I am running a half marathon and are excited for me. YAY! Now the pressure is building. It seems everyone but me can see me doing this. I guess I need to draw off their strength because I am scared to death. Just thinking about it makes me nervous. But, I did hear a quote yesterday that I think I am going to have to remember daily, "It is better to have an imperfect race than to continue imagining a perfect one from the couch."
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Crying Before, During, and After Running Possible
If you didn't know, Mark has a new job in Ogden. This means we are moving from Orem to Ogden in the next 2 weeks. But Mark's job started last month. So in the mean time, he has been commuting and driving an hour there and an hour home every day. In case you can't add, that is 11 hours he is away from us a day. So instead of having time for both of us to run, only one can most days. But, the other one walks Addison 1-2 miles while the other runs, so every day is exercise day for us!
Yesterday was Mark's run day while I walk day. I ended up walking 3.5 miles yesterday. But that combined with weights the day before and I am one sore lady. Mark pointed out that I may be over training and that is why I can't seem to get the miles that I want too. Do you think he has a point? I am running 3, soon to be 4 days a week and doing weights on my off days. I might be doing too much and drop doing weights for a while to test his theory.
Today was my run day. I was still sore when I woke up and was worried about that, but was able to get a mile in no problem. But after doing some reading today, I decided to so some sprinting today. So I did sprints for another mile. It felt good, but I have never been so tired after a run! I was panting and dying at the end when Mark tells me he has a song for me to listen to. Guess what song he picked out for me? Daughtry's Not A Day Goes By! Yeah, I cried like heck all the way home listening to it. But it was perfect. After a not as perfect run as I would hope, I got reminded of WHY I run, and it was beautiful, and therapeutic, and necessary for me all at the same time. Even though I cried and sobbed being reminded of who and what I am missing, I think I might need it on my running play list to motivate me not to let her down.
I have cried before a run. I have cried during a run begging Mark to stop because I couldn't keep going. But this crying after a run is new to me, and maybe I need to do it more often.
P.S. If you have never heard the song, here is a link. Please, listen to it and think of my little Isabel.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvpoYxwI08M
Yesterday was Mark's run day while I walk day. I ended up walking 3.5 miles yesterday. But that combined with weights the day before and I am one sore lady. Mark pointed out that I may be over training and that is why I can't seem to get the miles that I want too. Do you think he has a point? I am running 3, soon to be 4 days a week and doing weights on my off days. I might be doing too much and drop doing weights for a while to test his theory.
Today was my run day. I was still sore when I woke up and was worried about that, but was able to get a mile in no problem. But after doing some reading today, I decided to so some sprinting today. So I did sprints for another mile. It felt good, but I have never been so tired after a run! I was panting and dying at the end when Mark tells me he has a song for me to listen to. Guess what song he picked out for me? Daughtry's Not A Day Goes By! Yeah, I cried like heck all the way home listening to it. But it was perfect. After a not as perfect run as I would hope, I got reminded of WHY I run, and it was beautiful, and therapeutic, and necessary for me all at the same time. Even though I cried and sobbed being reminded of who and what I am missing, I think I might need it on my running play list to motivate me not to let her down.
I have cried before a run. I have cried during a run begging Mark to stop because I couldn't keep going. But this crying after a run is new to me, and maybe I need to do it more often.
P.S. If you have never heard the song, here is a link. Please, listen to it and think of my little Isabel.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvpoYxwI08M
Friday, June 8, 2012
Sesame Street Changed My Running Play List
I have a confession. I a 16-month-old that loves to watch music videos. Not just an music videos, Elmo music videos. Well after hearing Elmo's Ducks 1000 times, I had to find a new one she would like. Instead I found 2. And they had such good messages, I sing them to myself while I run now. And so, after watching these, you will too. Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWp6kkz-pnQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=cyVzjoj96vs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWp6kkz-pnQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=cyVzjoj96vs
You Don't Know Anything, Mrs. Body Image Therapist!
So yesterday was my rest from running day, so I tackle the weights on that day. Yesterday, I did them with Jillian Michaels. Yeah, I secretly think she is out to kill me. She will get to talking, say 4 more, then talk through the 4 and make you do 4 more from there. With 8 pound weights no less. Okay, so she didn't make me choose 8 pound weights, but as Jillian would say, "You want to see results don't you?"
I also was able to leave Miss Addison with Mark in order to go to a mommy's group last night. For the event, we had a therapist that works with girls with eating disorders and specializes in body image. She focused on what our body does during and after pregnancy and how we can have a better body image during a time of so much change. She pointed out what celebrities have said about their new mommy selves (Like Gwenyth Paltrow, who works out 2 hours a day and did so within 4 weeks of delivering both her children, told reporters "Every woman can make time [for exercise]--every woman--and you can do it with your baby in the room."). She talked to us about the media's influence on breastfeeding and getting plastic surgery to look like "our old selves" after baby. It was all stuff I already knew.
But then, she turned the discussion to ways we can improve our body images. "Don't diet" and "throw out your scale" were high on her list. WHAT???? My life is a perpetual diet and scale watching exercise. I have learned through watching the Biggest Loser, I Used to be Fat, and so on that if you aren't dieting and weighing in, how can your blame yourself for not doing enough? Why can't the number on the scale be your motivator? Oh, right. She works with women who have eating disorders and she must be coming at us from that extreme perspective.
Oh, but then she listed warning signs of an eating disorder and I have like 6 of the 9 warning signs. But anyone who is walking around after years of dieting can tell you it is hard to eat without a judge, jury, calculator, and the Weight Watcher's points values for every food swirling around in your head. So OF COURSE I am counting calories in an obsessive way (I just feel bad about eating them. I can never say no to them!). OF COURSE I have a preoccupation with food. Honestly, who doesn't so some signs of an eating disorder. Where is the threshold between what most women do to themselves every day and what is dangerous? Maybe it all is?
So after talking to her about how to break the cycle of punishing yourself in your head for the food we eat and how to work to have a better dialogue with ourselves about ourselves, I think I see the line. If you are always saying how ugly or fat or how you wish this or that would change on your body, and you can't, even for one second, see the wonderful and amazing things your body is capable of, then you need to work on yourself. So that is what I am going to set out to do. Focus on the fact that my body is capable of a half marathon and silence all my inner critics.
I also was able to leave Miss Addison with Mark in order to go to a mommy's group last night. For the event, we had a therapist that works with girls with eating disorders and specializes in body image. She focused on what our body does during and after pregnancy and how we can have a better body image during a time of so much change. She pointed out what celebrities have said about their new mommy selves (Like Gwenyth Paltrow, who works out 2 hours a day and did so within 4 weeks of delivering both her children, told reporters "Every woman can make time [for exercise]--every woman--and you can do it with your baby in the room."). She talked to us about the media's influence on breastfeeding and getting plastic surgery to look like "our old selves" after baby. It was all stuff I already knew.
But then, she turned the discussion to ways we can improve our body images. "Don't diet" and "throw out your scale" were high on her list. WHAT???? My life is a perpetual diet and scale watching exercise. I have learned through watching the Biggest Loser, I Used to be Fat, and so on that if you aren't dieting and weighing in, how can your blame yourself for not doing enough? Why can't the number on the scale be your motivator? Oh, right. She works with women who have eating disorders and she must be coming at us from that extreme perspective.
Oh, but then she listed warning signs of an eating disorder and I have like 6 of the 9 warning signs. But anyone who is walking around after years of dieting can tell you it is hard to eat without a judge, jury, calculator, and the Weight Watcher's points values for every food swirling around in your head. So OF COURSE I am counting calories in an obsessive way (I just feel bad about eating them. I can never say no to them!). OF COURSE I have a preoccupation with food. Honestly, who doesn't so some signs of an eating disorder. Where is the threshold between what most women do to themselves every day and what is dangerous? Maybe it all is?
So after talking to her about how to break the cycle of punishing yourself in your head for the food we eat and how to work to have a better dialogue with ourselves about ourselves, I think I see the line. If you are always saying how ugly or fat or how you wish this or that would change on your body, and you can't, even for one second, see the wonderful and amazing things your body is capable of, then you need to work on yourself. So that is what I am going to set out to do. Focus on the fact that my body is capable of a half marathon and silence all my inner critics.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Running 3 Miles
So because it is officially going to me running in Vegas and I only have 6 months to get to 13.1 miles, my husband and I started training for the half marathon yesterday. Our goal? Running 3 miles. I set out first while Mark pushed Addison in the stroller and only made it just over 2 miles before running into Mark and Addison on the running path. I then decided I was done for the day. I am really good at giving up on myself. Mark kept asking "Are you sure you don't want to keep going? It is only one mile! Why are you giving up on yourself?" After telling him I was a loser and messed up, he took off for his run. But right as he left I thought "It is only one mile more! So, pushing Addison, I set back out running.
So off we go. I think it is important to mention that Addison is in the big, non jogging stroller and we are on a path that is a little rough at times. So I ran 1/4 of a mile until the path had too many cracks and cutouts to take Addison on safely, then walked to the next smooth spot and ran until it got too rough again. And even with the huge stroller and being tired already from my 2 miles and my complete failure at fueling myself properly yesterday (apparently not enough calories!), I kept not too far behind Mark. By the end of the my first mile I was only half a mile or less behind Mark! So I did it again and we met at the end of his three miles at the same time!
So instead of 3 miles, I ended up running most of 4! This was huge for me. I guess I always need Mark to question my motives. But I figures out something else that I am going to need some help with. How do you get over your fear of success? I think I am setting myself up for failure by telling myself that I can't run a half marathon in 6 months, not because I don't know it is possible to run by then, it is totally doable. I fear that I am saying that I am going to do this then not train what I need to to get there. Or continually give up in my training and not get there. Either way, how do you stop yourself from sabotage? I have been thinking about this for a while and now is the time to figure it out.
So off we go. I think it is important to mention that Addison is in the big, non jogging stroller and we are on a path that is a little rough at times. So I ran 1/4 of a mile until the path had too many cracks and cutouts to take Addison on safely, then walked to the next smooth spot and ran until it got too rough again. And even with the huge stroller and being tired already from my 2 miles and my complete failure at fueling myself properly yesterday (apparently not enough calories!), I kept not too far behind Mark. By the end of the my first mile I was only half a mile or less behind Mark! So I did it again and we met at the end of his three miles at the same time!
So instead of 3 miles, I ended up running most of 4! This was huge for me. I guess I always need Mark to question my motives. But I figures out something else that I am going to need some help with. How do you get over your fear of success? I think I am setting myself up for failure by telling myself that I can't run a half marathon in 6 months, not because I don't know it is possible to run by then, it is totally doable. I fear that I am saying that I am going to do this then not train what I need to to get there. Or continually give up in my training and not get there. Either way, how do you stop yourself from sabotage? I have been thinking about this for a while and now is the time to figure it out.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
In the Beginning...
Well, like any good blog, I shall start mine with my story. I am training for my first half marathon. I haven't decided whether it will be the Strip at Night race in December or the SLC Marathon in April, but I am starting the training now. And my loving husband and 1-year-old daughter are also training with me.
Why do I run? Because I have another daughter named Isabel. Isabel is very special. Isabel is my first daughter and she was stillborn because of a fatal birth defect called Anencephaly. If you don't know what that is, please visit http://www.anencephalie-info.org/e/index.php for info and stories from other parents that have shared out journey. When Isabel was diagnosed at our 18 week ultrasound, we were sent to a "specialist" that informed me that it was all my fault (even though I took folic acid to prevent it and Anencepahly is no one's fault, it just happens). After leaving the office in a giant huff, I allowed his words to affect the image I have of myself and allowed myself to gain weight and be even more unhealthy than I was already.
You see, throughout my life, I have gained and lost the same 50 pounds and this doctor gave me one more excuse not to care about it anymore. But then something happened. I had Isabel's healthy little sister, Addison, and then I did care. I cared very much that I was being unhealthy and teaching Addison the same bad habits I have had my whole life. So on her first birthday, I decided that I had to have a goal in life. That goal was to walk the equivalent distance from my house to my favorite place in the world, Las Vegas by my wedding anniversary this Saturday. I have more or less accomplished that (I forgot to keep track for a while, but if my figures are correct, I will be there Sunday or so). During my walking, I started thinking about running. I have always wanted to be a runner, but I never was very good at it. Then my friend pointed out that you are a runner no matter how much you run and that prospective changed my outlook on running. Sure, I could only run for a fourth of a mile at a time, but if I walked a little, I could run again and in the last three months, I have worked my way up to three miles non stop. My husband joined me and now he runs while I walk Addison around the running path and then we switch.
Has it been easy? No. Worth it? Yes. I see myself in a better light. And I have lost 20 pounds. But I am always looking for a race that we should sign up for and thanks to a running friend of mine, we might has decided to go for it and sign up for a half marathon in Las Vegas. That gives me 6 months to go from 3 miles to 13.1. Wish me luck!
Why do I run? Because I have another daughter named Isabel. Isabel is very special. Isabel is my first daughter and she was stillborn because of a fatal birth defect called Anencephaly. If you don't know what that is, please visit http://www.anencephalie-info.org/e/index.php for info and stories from other parents that have shared out journey. When Isabel was diagnosed at our 18 week ultrasound, we were sent to a "specialist" that informed me that it was all my fault (even though I took folic acid to prevent it and Anencepahly is no one's fault, it just happens). After leaving the office in a giant huff, I allowed his words to affect the image I have of myself and allowed myself to gain weight and be even more unhealthy than I was already.
You see, throughout my life, I have gained and lost the same 50 pounds and this doctor gave me one more excuse not to care about it anymore. But then something happened. I had Isabel's healthy little sister, Addison, and then I did care. I cared very much that I was being unhealthy and teaching Addison the same bad habits I have had my whole life. So on her first birthday, I decided that I had to have a goal in life. That goal was to walk the equivalent distance from my house to my favorite place in the world, Las Vegas by my wedding anniversary this Saturday. I have more or less accomplished that (I forgot to keep track for a while, but if my figures are correct, I will be there Sunday or so). During my walking, I started thinking about running. I have always wanted to be a runner, but I never was very good at it. Then my friend pointed out that you are a runner no matter how much you run and that prospective changed my outlook on running. Sure, I could only run for a fourth of a mile at a time, but if I walked a little, I could run again and in the last three months, I have worked my way up to three miles non stop. My husband joined me and now he runs while I walk Addison around the running path and then we switch.
Has it been easy? No. Worth it? Yes. I see myself in a better light. And I have lost 20 pounds. But I am always looking for a race that we should sign up for and thanks to a running friend of mine, we might has decided to go for it and sign up for a half marathon in Las Vegas. That gives me 6 months to go from 3 miles to 13.1. Wish me luck!
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