Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Putting On My Big Girl Panties

   So, in case you haven't noticed, I quit blogging and the Vegas race was 16 days ago. And no, I didn't run it. :( While running in August I started feeling sharp pains in my left foot. The next day I could barely walk. Turns out I have plantar fasciitis and was no longer able to train. Nor did I work out for 3 months. And we moved, AGAIN, during that time (but we bought a house, so I don't think we will be moving for a very long time). And yes, I put back on all the weight I lost. But we still went to Vegas to root on Josh (who later decided that the race is far too large and disorganized to enjoy). Vegas was AWESOME and just watching made me catch the running bug again. Too bad I still can't run. Stupid foot.
   But I can do the next best thing. On December 4, the day after we got back, I finally went to the website, livestrong.com/myplate, that my doctor told me about in August (right before I hurt myself). I started with a weigh in and set honest goals for myself. Since then, I have lost 8 pounds! I walk about 15 miles a week with Leslie Sansone and do weight training with either Jillian Micheals or  my pilates video. And you know what? I like myself again.
   Something has occurred to me recently. It wasn't my fault that Isabel died. I can't control a tipped uterus or the fact my body doesn't absorb folic acid. Although my body has some hurdles to cross to get pregnant and to have healthy pregnancies, I can't continue hating myself and eating myself to death. Addison needs me. Mark needs me. And I need me. I need me to be the best that I can be. If I don't change, I will kill myself by having a heart attack or a stroke or cancer or something. I have to, for the first time ever, live to be here tomorrow. I have to, as they say, put on my big girl panties and grow up.


  1. When I lost my weight there was one thing I learned that not that many understand and that's ... "it's not about the weight!" There are often so many other factors that are present "within" us that prevent us from reaching where we want to be ... physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.

    All, I can say is ... KEEP GOING! I am proud of you Jill! If your journey takes you on a 5K, 10K and Half Marathon I want to be there with you!

  2. Holy cow! That is so true! I know I totally eat my emotions. Happy? Eat to celebrate. Sad? Eat to comfort yourself. Stressed? Eat to reward yourself. I guess I am just sick of hating myself.
    It isn't worth the cost to myself anymore.


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