THE Song

  I heard this song today on a friend's blog and I knew I just had to watch this video over and over again. Something about the idea of someone fixing you really struck and motivated me. Sometimes giving your all isn't enough. Sometimes you need to ask for help. We are not made, as humans, to be islands. We have to rely on each other. I hope you enjoy the song, get something from it, and pass along the good thoughts to people you love.

Jillian, Running, and WAIT! That's me!

   So as you may know, Mark and I are in the middle of doing The 30 Day Shred with Jillian Michael's. Today we did Level 2, day 4. Well, sort of. Addison woke up an hour and a half early today and I was only allowed to do 16 minutes of it. In order to get more of my burn on, after breakfast I decided to try out a day of Ripped in 30, also by Jillian. HOLY CRAP! That is a workout. I am sore and tired just sitting here! I might have to change my workout plans over the next few months (because, I do have our workouts planned until June 3). And there is a reason for that. Mark and I are now talking about running a half marathon in Boise, ID in May!  In order to get there, we have to start doing a 12 week train soon, right after we are done with the Shred Challenge on March 5.
   I was planning on training AND doing Ripped in 30 4 days a week until we got 30 days in. After today, maybe not. But, maybe still. I know for a fact that doing The Shred has improved my athleticism more than anything in the past has. Seriously, I have so much more stamina when running and strength than I have ever had before. I know that some of that has to do with better shoes too, but I am sure most of it has to do with Jillian. I feel AWESOME since starting the Shred and I am sure that Ripped is even better. Can you even imagine a muscular runner? I can't wait to be one. 
   On top of tweaking my training and stuff, I have been spotlighted for my efforts on my friend's blog! Feel free to stay and read about his crazy weight loss and running journey. He is AMAZING. Anyway, I was able to really thing about what I am doing and where I want to be while answering his questions and I think I have figured out who I am a little more. What can be bad about that?

My First 5K

   Last weekend was BUSY for Mark and I. Addison's second birthday was Friday, Mark's parents came that night, her birthday party was the next day, and his parents left during a snow storm on Sunday. To add to all the fun, Mark and I signed up for a 5K in Orem on Saturday morning, leaving Addison with Grandma and Grandpa. Needless to say, it was a fun and crazy weekend.
   Mark had found the race the previous weekend posted at the running store where I get my shoes in Orem. He mentioned it when we left saying it was indoors and CHEAP (with this inversion, we needed something indoors or I can't run due to asthma). I mentioned it was Addison's birthday party that day and then said "Let's do it!" We then talked a couple of running friends into going with us. So that next Saturday, foggy and freaking early, Mark, Josh (yes the Josh that went with us to Vegas to run that half marathon), and I took off in the heavy fog and trekked it to Orem. We met our other friend Susette there and after registration, Josh and Susette started running because a 5K just isn't enough miles for those two nut jobs. The race took place in the halls at UVU. There was also a dance competition going on and dancers were warming up in the very halls all us runners were jetting down. AND classes were also going on. It was AWESOME!
  While the two nut jobs got in their 5K before the 5K, Mark and I walked about 2 miles to warm up. We got done with lap two just in time to start the actual race. We all started together, but Josh and Susette quickly outpaced us, then I cut Mark loose to go the speed he needs to go to feel comfortable. I am not stupid or prideful. I am a slow runner and I knew I needed to set a comfortable pace in order for me to actually run the whole race. The first lap went great, I was on pace to run a 38 minute 5K. I ended up stopping at the watering station the next 3 laps, but that was only for a few seconds and I ended up running the WHOLE WAY! In order to keep going, I kept thinking about Isabel and talking to her (in my head of course, I didn't want to look crazy!). I know I found great strength in knowing she was there the whole time cheering me on.

 My new running shoes. Thanks Ryan for taking all that time to fit me with the perfect pair. They are great.

 Pre-race with the hubby.

 Josh Hansen, Susette Fisher, Mark and I proving we were really going to race down the halls of UVU.

 And we are OFF! And we were actually ahead of much of the pack. It is a pretty good sized race, considering where it takes place.

 Oh yeah! I am RUNNING!

 This is when I passed Mark during the second lap. Or I should say, he was way passed me, we just met up mid hall.

 Post race. Can you see the pride?

While running I was passed by these two and I tailed them for the my last lap. They were on mile 5 and I was dying on mile 2-3. I guess that is what years experience can do for you.

   I ended up finishing the race in 41 minutes. Was that fast? NO! Was it faster than I thought I could go? YES! And I am so so happy I was able to do it. We eventually met up with Josh and Susette, who decided to quit after only a 10K, and went to the free pancake and oatmeal breakfast. I could feel all those running endorphins surging through my body and I seriously was like "I should run a half marathon soon!" Yeah, I am still, a week later, tasting the running Kool-aid. It is AMAZING. So you, GO RUNNING!

The 30 Day Shred Challenge

   It has been 17 days since I last posted, but I promise you, I haven't fallen off the horse. I have been working out and eating well. Livestrong.com/myplate are best friends. My husband is even joining me on the journey! And we have a goal, for me to lose as close to 20 by March as I can (I think 15 is more realistic, but we'll see what he thinks with March 1st rolls around). To help me reach this goal and to get us both on a healthier path, I was trying to find a workout program that was cheap but results driven. After much internet searching and review reading, I found what I was looking for: Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. And, the videos are FREE on Youtube! Cheap and AWESOME!
   I am no novice when it comes to a Jillian workout. I have cussed her many a times doing Biggest Loser Workouts, or one of her many other videos. But I have never embarked on this kind of a journey before. She promises you can lose up to 20 pounds and lots of inches by following her Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday and then doing cardio Wednesday and Saturday, with a well deserved rest on Sundays. Mark and I started on Monday and will finish March 5.
   The workouts are short, only 25 minutes. But trust me, you will be yelling a myriad of bad words at her before the end. She knows her stuff though. And, in between all the "Don't phone this in" and "I need you to be working!" comments, she has some great truths for you to remember. My favorite is "You have to fight for abs like these!" I never thought about that. I guess you do have to fight to be a better you. So that is what we are doing, fighting it out until March 5. Then, guess what? Then it is time for Jillian Michael's Ripped in 30!

Happy New Year, Now Get Off Your Butt!

   Happy New Year! How did you end 2012? I ended my 2012 meeting my weight loss goals for the month of December. YAHOO! I also spent the night with great friends ending the night with an EPIC dance party. I hope that all of you were so fortunate to spend the night with people you love doing something fun.
   But, because it is the new year, I am sure some of you made resolutions. What are you going to do to keep them? Have you made a plan? I can't make resolutions, I never keep them. And I DO NOT need another reason to not like myself. But, I am learning a little bit about keeping goals. First thing you need to do is break you large goals into small, even tiny goals. Trying to lose weight? Then you need to change just one habit you have. Drink 64+ ounces of water today. Or journal your food on http://www.livestrong.com/myplate so you can see how much you are eating to make healthy changes. Or, get up right now, dress warm, and go walking. Go one step further than you ever have. Go one minute longer than you ever have. Then tomorrow, do it again. Do it until you have made yourself a habit. Then pick another small goal and do that. Making lasting changes to improve yourself all start with small tiny steps. You can do it! You are better than every excuse holding you back.

Happy Birthday, Isabel

   All day I have been thinking about Isabel's long long birth. For those of you that don't know, I was in labor for 41 hours. That is almost 2 whole days. Two very LONG days. Here we are, 3 years later, and I can still remember in exact detail some of the events that lead to her death and birth. I can remember everyone, EVERYONE telling me that there is no medal for doing it all natural (which, there totally is. Knowing your body is capable of such a big thing and carrying it out proves just how awesome your body actually is!). I can remember both times my water broke at the most terrible times! I carry with me that moment that the nurse left the room while I was pushing to tell my doctor Isabel had passed away and looking out the window and the snow, just starting to fall in that moment. I remember that moment that the doctor laid her on me and everyone in the room looked away while I was trying to rub her back alive. I remember thinking "This isn't the end. This isn't what I prayed for." Those memories come flooding back to me over and over again, sometimes with no warning.
   I always, ALWAYS wish I could just have one conversation with Isabel. I think that would help with the healing process more than anything. I guess that is what it means to be perfected in the afterlife, to finally have all those conversations you need to be whole. I still talk to her on a daily basis. She is a part of me and I use her as my sounding board. But today I want to wish her a happy birthday tomorrow. If she were here, this is what I would say to her on her third birthday:

   Isabel, you have no idea how much and how long we waited for you. Or how long we are still waiting on you to be with us. I tried everything I could to give you the best life you could have with your limited physical abilities. I hope you understand how much I wish it could have been different for you. And I hope that you able to enjoy what little we were able to give you in this life. 
   Addison misses you. But I know you are always there with her. She carries your picture around, as if she is enjoying the world with you. When we put up the butterflies in her room, she took your picture to show them to you. She carries you around in her beloved wagon often. And just today she had you pointing out the window looking at the neighbor kids with her. She knows you. She has even tried blaming you for the pee pees in her pants. I know that there will always be a piece of you with her, where ever she goes. I am so grateful she has such an awesome older sister. I know that you are always with her, even when I can not be.

   Daddy misses you too. I know the thought of having two daughters so close in age scares the pants off of him, but he is learning. He likes to keep his emotions close to him, so we don't talk about his grief much. I always hope that he is finding ways to deal with it in a healthy way. I know that he loves you very much and he is always anxious to see you in Twin whenever we are there.
   I still have unanswered questions about your life. Why did you have to die before I could meet you? Why was your birth so hard? Why did you have to be sick at all? Could I have really done nothing more to have stopped this? I really don't know if answering any of these questions would make me feel better. I hope that it would, but I don't know. All I know is that I can't blame myself anymore. It is absolutely eating me up. I have to know that you would want more of me. 
   I hope that you are thinking of us on your birthday too. If you see some balloons with notes attached, those are probably from us. I am sure we might have to fight Addison to let them just go. She does love her balloons. I wish you could have been here to celebrate. I could have made your the world's ugliest cake, which your Dad would insist it "looks just fine." We could have had a party, something themed just the way you would like. Addison and you could have played all day and I would have read to you all the books you could ever want. That is my birthday wish to you. I hope that you are able to feel all the joy you deserve. I hope that you feel all the love that we have for you. Happy Birthday. I can't wait until I can see you again.

How to Not Get Fatter During The Holidays

   My friend Josh has motivated me in more ways than he can ever imagine. First of all, he motivated me to consider running, a sport I thought ill of.  What is the point of running if you are not A) being chased or B) playing a sport? But, after going to a couple of races to support him and his obsession, I caught the bug too. He has also lost 185 pounds in the last 3 years. He has taught me to set small goals to reach one large goal to change and improve your life. To read more about him, visit his blog at http://www.phatjosh.com. It is amazing.
   He posted a list of 11 ideas to keep you on your weight loss journey. I liked it so much, I thought I would share some of his ideas here, with my own insights of course. I decided to start losing weight in December rather than January like most people simply because I couldn't stand one more day of not doing something right in my life. Has it been easy with holiday treats hanging around? No. Is my 9 pound weight loss worth it? Yes. So here is some things Josh and I have figured out to help us stay on the correct path this holiday season.

• Stick to a regular workout schedule. If the weather outside is frightful, run on the treadmill, an indoor track, or with a workout video. You might find out you like kickboxing, Tae Bo, or yoga. Who knew?
• Avoid overeating at holiday parties by eating a small meal before.
• Designate appropriate times and places to eat that ONE thing you wait for every year to eat. Make sure to ENJOY it as well. 
• Don't eat it unless you really want it and set appropriate limits. One cookie is fine, a whole batch, not so much... 
• If you need a holiday sugar rush ... grab a candy cane! They have only 45 calories and 8 grams of sugar! 
• Snacks should consist of about 15-20 grams of carbohydrates to about 9-10 grams of fat per serving. An apple and a Tbls. of peanut butter or 3 cups of air popped popcorn with a half serving of chocolate chips to fulfill that chocolate serving are both appropriate snacks.  
• Grab water instead of sodas and juices with your meals. This includes diet soda. Need extra something in the water? Add a squeeze of a citrus fruit for a yummy treat. 
• Set yourself a nutrition goal once a week to improve your health. Last week's goal for me was to get 8 servings+ of fruits and veggies a day. This week is that AND 9 glasses of water or green tea a day.
• If you overeat one day, move on. It doesn't mean your holiday diet is broke. That is like saying my bedroom is a mess, I should screw up the whole house! Forgive the small mess and focus on doing more good things. 
• Instead of aiming to be perfect, aim for a more realistic 80/20 diet. That means one "treat" meal a week and one treat a week. Looking forward to that one splurge is enough to help you actually ENJOY the splurge! I am using www.livestrong.com/myplate to track my food and make sure I am staying in my calorie goals. You can too!
• As Josh would say, RUN. Especially run during the Run Resolution (January 1) and New Years Resolution Half Marathon (January 5). Those two runs will hide many of your holidays sins. Plus, you get a carb load before hand! If you are not into running, set yourself another goal on those two days. Start walking now and walk one more mile than you ever have on January 1st and walk 2 more miles on January 5th. Small feats like these add up to large improvements on your health and on your ego!

      This list serves more of a reminder of the things I should be doing, but I hope it helps you too. Remember, small steps can lead to awesome destinations.